Celebrity Charity: Whomp! – Cursor Words


Celebrity Charity:


My bound to Boston began with a easy desire – to abet PAX East in Boston. Quite grand all of my accepted cyber web celebrities could perchance be there, and I simply wished to salvage my impart focused on them. Easy ample reason to head!

Sadly, I became as soon as unaware that badges sold out virtually in the present day, and I became as soon as out of luck – that is, till I made a whiny tweet. Enter Patrick, my friend and Penny Arcade forum manager (I omit his legit title!). He could perchance hook me up with a Three-day badge. I never cherish to settle for preferential cure, however I allowed myself this one bit of selfishness, and I’m happy Patrick did, too.

With that, I booked my flight and AirBnB room, ready to head to Boston!

I’m going to gloss over some tiny print to withhold away from a novella, however I hope I will have the ability to properly command the phenomenal gamut of physical and emotional rollercoasters that lasted four eternal days.

DAY Zero

My flight would recede at 6:05AM Friday Morning. It could really salvage me to the convention at around 11AM. I figured it will most likely perchance effect cash on an further evening of lodging, however I’d quickly desire I’d popped for an additional evening on the remarkably practical $60/evening room.

After pretty about a abet-and-forth and overly anxious math, I requested my mom to power me to the airport at 8PM and I’d try to sleep there to withhold her from having to power an hour abet to her home at 4AM.

Sooner than she and I parted ways, she gave me a tiny field of home-baked brownies. The sphere became as soon as styrofoam, the kind you salvage for restaurant leftovers.

As quickly as I obtained to the protection test, I had a steady dread. What if they suspect these are… special brownies? So with that, I made a decision to strive and consume the brownies before going via security. Pointless to instruct, I wasn’t sure of the food policy outdoor the explicit terminal gate condominium, so right here became as soon as a colossal hairy man shoulder deep in his backpack, attempting to masks his messy consumption of a mysterious food. Let’s call it Brownie Bagging.

After I’d executed my brownies, I had a new conundrum. I had to throw away the sphere! In my constantly insecure mind, I had determined that the sphere became as soon as the explicit dimension/form of an incendiary tool, and if they saw me throw it in the trash, they’d occupy me tackled to the ground and fished around in my butt attempting to search out the detonator.

I at closing labored up the nerve to throw away the sphere when no one became as soon as wanting.

I chanced on no sleep that evening in the airport. I saw one man who had pushed two sets of chairs collectively for a makeshift mattress. I desire I were so dauntless!


After pretty about a caring that the Blue Snowball microphone I became as soon as carrying could perchance be inaccurate for a bomb, I became as soon as ushered via security and not using a concerns.

I arrived in Boston, and made system to my AirBnB room to drop off my baggage. This spirited taking part with the ‘Charlie Proceed’ plan that capacity that you simply can lope all mass transit with a single price. Fortunately, I’d done too grand examine months before, and I knew in the present day to raise a 7-day pass.

After pretty of thought and confusion, I took the shuttle to the Blue Line to Wonderland (well, my discontinuance became as soon as Orient Heights – coincidentally appropriate for a weeb cherish me.)

The bus proved pretty extra of a grief, because their schedules are pretty less frequent than the trains. Fortunately, I obtained on the perfect bus, and it became as soon as being driven by a wonderfully kind lady who became as soon as bigger than happy to acknowledge my questions about the stops.

I dropped off my secure, and while I could perchance occupy waited for an additional bus, I wasn’t sure of the times, so I made a decision to strive a new helpful resource I’d never partaken – an Uber! There wasn’t grand thrilling about it, other than the motive force became as soon as very glorious. He moreover had Prince’s songs on loop, in honor of the dearly departed. My private accepted became as soon as When Doves Bawl, because I friggin fancy Romeo+Juliet with Leo and Claire Danes.

All the pieces became as soon as going comely… to this point!

I sat outdoor the convention center, attempting to salvage pretty extra of a price on my cell phone till Patrick brought me a badge. The cell phone’s price became as soon as getting terribly low, since the evening before on the airport, the most convenient outlets were monopolized by snoozing of us, and a woman who sat on the ground in entrance of the outlet talked on her cell phone for two solid hours (and didn’t plug when she became as soon as done speaking).

After extra stress about the protection secure test on the convention, I at closing obtained in!

I walked around the ground with Patrick and Hannah, his accomplice. (God, I hope I’m fair in remembering it became as soon as Hannah and now no longer cherish… Anna……… or Jamie.)

Right here is when the day begins to flip real into a blur. At this point, I hadn’t slept in 24 hours, and it became as soon as time to begin sitting down and staring at of us make online sport related things. I started on the Highway Fighter V Enviornment the keep Ricki Ortiz, Mike Ross, Marn, Gootecks, Okay-Brad, Nickledu, and other colossal fighting sport community stars were striking out and participating in the battle games on a colossal display. The true condominium became as soon as so tiny, it is possible you’ll perchance no longer abet however be terminate to them your complete time, and it became as soon as big, other than for one part.

Every every now and then, I’d tumble asleep. Every time I did, I regarded cherish an insane person as I’d snap abet wide awake with a startled face and an audible gasp. This persisted all via the day.

After I saw Marn standing about, I handed him the microphone I’d promised him on Twitter. His microphone wasn’t very comely, and since he lives in Vietnam, it be highly expensive for him to raise electronics from foreign. I donate to streamers your complete time, so this became as soon as no diversified. With the handoff, he gave me a colossal thanks, and I fair smiled and gave a thumbs-up, now no longer wishing to interfere with his legit alternate. It became as soon as this second that I realized that I became as soon as thunder with simply seeing the of us I most popular, and not using a need for photos. It regarded out of the ordinary to fair allow the second live in my recollections.

I met abet up with Patrick and Hannah and, fortuitously, we went to occupy a good lunch. It became as soon as about then I realized I hadn’t eaten since those brownies the evening before, and being wide awake for that period of time makes you a heck of loads hungrier. I drank my weight in Weight loss blueprint Coke on the restaurant. I’m well-known for my constant dehydration all via periods of youth pains. This could very well be a part later in the weekend.

To terminate out the day, I went to the Broad Bomb panel. Patrick Klepek became as soon as making hotdogs and throwing them at us, however to my shagrin, I could perchance make nothing however tumble asleep time and time again. I kicked myself for now no longer properly taking part in the panel. Fortunately, it became as soon as properly filmed, and I’m going to be staring at it later in paunchy wakefulness!

I wasn’t too sleepy, on the different hand, to accost Alex and Dan with the slow poster I drew. I’d printed ample for all individuals on the Broad Bomb crew! http://i.imgur.com/TobB6uX.png

First I showed it to Alex. He most popular it and told me he’d ensure that to present it to the different bombers. He became as soon as very busy interacting with followers, so I wasn’t in a location at hand him the tube. I became as soon as skittish to fair lay it down someplace, so then I kinda scooted over to Dan Ryckert and had an extremely similar dialog. This time, I forced it into his hands as if to relate “THESE ARE YOUR PROBLEM NOW.”

And I ran. No, genuinely. I ran out of the room since the Enforcers were attempting to salvage us out, and with comely trigger!

Sooner than the evening became as soon as done, I made a lengthy-ish stroll away from the PAX center, now no longer sure what I became as soon as attempting to search out. What I chanced on became as soon as a McDonald’s! Now, I do know what you are pondering. “You had them nuggz. 20-part world peace.” I must always disappoint you, however I had nuggz now no longer too lengthy ago, and I withhold my nugg experiences very separate for max enjoyment.

I had two cheeseburgers, colossal fries, colossal drink. The burgers were fair poor. Too grand ketchup, and the buns were dried out. It ain’t my first time on the McDonald’s rodeo, so I do realize it ain’t all McD’s shedding unfriendly burgs on the of us.

Now it became as soon as time to head sleep my first evening on the AirBnB room. I became as soon as angry by the transit plan, which became as soon as aloof pretty recent to this country boy, however I wasn’t seeing anybody depart into the contrivance. I could perchance no longer portray if it became as soon as closed/disused/etc. All I do know is any individual wrote ‘muerte’ on the door, and I took that as an omen. Tonight, it be Uber.

After I salvage to the placement I’m staying, I secure that I’m sharing a floor of a condominium with another couple who became as soon as attending PAX. I’m now no longer gonna mince phrases, they were nerds cherish you and me. We had a good nerdy talk, and it became as soon as off to mattress with me and my painful feet.

I salvage to my room (three flights of stairs to salvage right here!) fair before my cell phone is ready to die for comely. No grief, fair walk in the charger and-

I’ve lost my charger.


The evening before became as soon as scorching. Too scorching. There became as soon as no fan to withhold the air transferring in the room, so it felt positively tropical after I became as soon as already overheated from uncharacteristic pains.

After at closing realizing the Rubik’s dice bathe knobs, I made my system abet into Boston with intent to raise a new charger. After some wandering around north of Boston, I chanced on a convenience store the keep I sold a charger. Despite my sneaky intentions to conceal in the abet of the store and issue an obtainable outlet, the walk became as soon as too oddly fashioned to suit, so I made my system down the aspect road attempting to search out bus stops and charging outlets. I infrequently checked my perpetually loss of life cell phone for the accepted path of the practice contrivance, and after lacking multiple buses and finding no outlets, I stopped up walking the important aspect road two miles to the contrivance on already-achy feet.

After I near on the convention hall, I try to price my cell phone. It became as soon as a genuinely gradual, unfruitful affair coupled with a genuinely loud Ghostbusters cosplayer who made my ears sad.

I made my system to the Highway Fighter V condominium the keep the powerhouses of the community were aloof duking it out in an invitational match. Sooner than it began, on the different hand, I needed to sit down down on the free-play condominium with fellow SFV avid gamers. I’d play a couple games and give myself ample time to search out a seat subsequent to the stage the keep I could perchance eradicate up the charisma of the near-sitting legends.

My first opponent became as soon as very kind. Very… very kind. He beaten my Karin, which is okay. I make now no longer mind being beaten, because I secure victory in taking even a single round from essential avid gamers. Then he began to educate me. How honorable!

Because the starting of the display came, I became as soon as ready to eradicate my seat. However the lesson wasn’t over. It persisted… and persisted. The seats filled. I realized to punish unsafe strikes. That is comely frigid. Hello, Marn’s taking part in. I cherish staring at Marn play… however I gotta be taught to frame entice now, I direct.

At the time, I became as soon as comely upset, on the different hand it wasn’t his fault. The tutor became as soon as very kind to present me his time. I must aloof were extra begin about my intentions, however hi there! We’re all a tiny bit socially awkward!

After the SFV match, I stare Jerma985’s tweet about a fan meet-and-greet he’s having. He and Star_ are hilarious makers of youtube movies, to boot as easiest streamers. I had the privilege of moderating Jerma’s chat (and now Star’s), so we shared some familiarity.

What I didn’t seek files from became as soon as how angry Jerma regarded to satisfy me. I felt cherish the most special person on earth at that second, and it be now no longer related what took location for the leisure of the weekend, it will most likely perchance aloof be the perfect weekend of my lifestyles, and fully worth the monetary tag. I fleet parted ways with Jerma (after a promise of a lunch salvage-collectively) to present him an opportunity to properly work in conjunction with his other followers and now no longer be obligated to myself. My subsequent aim became as soon as to glimpse out Star.

Star became as soon as casting commentary on an Overwatch match. He became as soon as extremely busy, so I delighted myself with him temporarily, then heading abet to SFV to play some extra games.

I could perchance now no longer depart into too many tiny print. Largely, I stopped up on the ‘beginner’ aspect of the SFV tables, and felt extremely unfriendly that I became as soon as crushing new avid gamers. I tried to head easy on them, and I hope I didn’t dissuade anybody from this kind of fun sport.

My subsequent superstar look-seeing outing became as soon as to the Iron Galaxy booth, particularly to take into narrative Dave Lang, the CEO of Iron Galaxy. They’re the builders of Dive Kick, a elaborate letter to fighting games. They’re moreover the present builders of Killer Intuition, a genuinely glorious sport that I make now no longer occupy the methodology to play for the time being.

Most of all, Dave Lang is a hilarious man who’s inexorably linked to Broad Bomb’s antics. To my shock, the very busy man who attended many panels became as soon as genuinely on the booth! Pointless to instruct, he regarded very busy, and I became as soon as thunder to easily glimpse at him up terminate while another Iron Galaxy employee showed me the combo plan in Killer Intuition. It became as soon as a delightfully brief expertise.

It became as soon as getting gradual, and I quickly had a dinner reservation with outdated company from the Penny Arcade boards. Patrick (who obtained me into the convention), his wife Hannah, Invoice (A moderator on the boards) and his wife Ashley. However first I must always salvage to the restaurant, an upscale steak joint known as “Mooo” at Park Highway.

I presumed to be taking the transit, as I became as soon as getting extra happy with it, on the different hand it became as soon as about the an analogous period of time to high-tail, so I figured I’d stare the sights!

It became as soon as virtually in the present day after I passed the necessary practice contrivance that I began to salvage requests for loose switch. The first couple of sorrowful fellows requested for my coins with low voices. I’d gladly give as I could perchance, however I’m wary of reaching into my pockets in an unknown metropolis, so I soldier ahead.

The closing interplay before my destination became as soon as the proverbial cake-taker. As I passed three of us perched in opposition to a mammoth outdated window, one of the ladies individuals shook her cup loudly at me, exclaiming “We obtained a clear one, right here! You is possible to be real @&(#$ing special!” The different two laughed mockingly in my path. I kept my head down and presumably even a tiny prayer crossed my mind. Presumably she became as soon as speaking about Jerma making me genuinely feel special earlier that day. I wasn’t reckoning on it, though.

I arrived at Mooo, greeted by my company. Whereas I became as soon as thankful for the dearth of costume code, I became as soon as aloof the abnormal man out at this eatery of fanciness. Accept as true with a room of of us in glorious, dark garments, comely-shaven faces and immaculate skin sitting within slapping distance of a colossal elephantine man with a fuzzy beard, fluffy head, gang-cherish tattoo, and a brilliant Hawaiian blouse. Or now no longer it is no shock that I became as soon as seated closest to the door in case they foremost to salvage me out fleet.

Oh, and I had a college-vogue backpack. Pointless to instruct, I’m fancy. I cherish to be fancy! So I requested them civilly to test my secure. (In this case, ‘test’ refers to them preserving it for safekeeping. I’d now no longer genuinely feel the necessity to specify, however my secure became as soon as checked for harmful objects thrice to this point this weekend)

I’ve never had a coat/secure checked, and that in itself became as soon as a take care of. When the secure became as soon as returned to me later that evening, the highly-dressed man who brought it to me could perchance now no longer were extra of a talented about it. He gave me a bow and a teach as though I were as foremost as an outdated cash billionaire on holiday with his mistress. It handiest took place to me later that I must aloof occupy tipped him. It could really were worth the equality I felt.

This expertise became as soon as echoed via dinner as the server, a good lady in a short dark costume, persisted to ship me ice water after I downed them fleet. I easily sweat and dehydrate, so I became as soon as pretty thirsty. She never let me depart with out.

I could perchance now no longer talk costs as it appears pretty gauche, however as an instance that my meal became as soon as a bill for per week’s worth of my groceries (though I make store thrifty!). Invoice and Ashley were kind ample to take care of me to the meal as phase of Patrick’s birthday, and I’m eternally grateful.

I made a decision to say my steak medium (I desire well-done) because I needed to slot in pretty better. To my satisfaction, I became as soon as now no longer tormented by the redness of the meat as I infrequently am. The the leisure of the meal became as soon as very fair appropriate, though now no longer utterly worth describing. Many spirited surprises, and the meal ended by staring at Patrick revel in his birthday sundae. He insisted on sharing, however I became as soon as far too paunchy from other palatable food, and became as soon as bigger than happy to refuse.

The time out ended with me giving a present of some fancy-ish hazelnut Hershey’s to Patrick, with one field for him to present to Robert Khoo for giving me a badge. If handiest I’d identified I’d be treated to dinner, I’d occupy had an further for Invoice and Ashley to boot.

This time, I eradicate the transit. Onto the practice, onto the bus, on to my short-term home. It could really perchance no longer occupy long past smoother.

I climb up three flights of stairs on my achy feet, shimmy myself into my mattress, walk in my loss of life cell phone, and glimpse the latest episode of Jojo’s Abnormal Adventure. Other than the phenomenal effort radiating via my groin from all the walking, it became as soon as a savory evening of pretty of overwarm sleep.

DAY Three:

The next morning, all via my routine, I accidentally broke a dinky ingesting glass in the loo of my hostess. I make now no longer occupy any thought what the glass became as soon as for, however I direct it became as soon as for… leisure room stuff? I reasonably cleaned up the mess and positioned the glass gingerly atop the t

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